USMC UBER SILKIES

 Or......

Why I Joined the Marine Corps

I LOVE A MAN IN RAPIST GLASSES

 

THE GALLOPING GOURMET SAVED MY LIFE

Weeeeelllll, not exactly but......

He certainly helped me during a hugely difficult period AND he got me addicted to cooking shows and cooking.

Back in 1971/72, when I was in 6th grade, I got very badly burned and was out of school for more than six weeks.

Here's the scenario:  Its early morning on a school day at 32 Randall Road, Princeton, New Jersey, and the family (momz, dad,and moi -- my brothers were yet to be born) were settling in for breakfast.

I had a bit of a routine every morning where, as I sat down, I moved the cord for the 12 cup Corningware coffee percolator sitting on the kitchen table.  The pot was right on the corner of the side where I sat at the table and the cord usually hung off the table onto my chair and in my way.  So as I would sit down I'd take the cord and move it around the corner of the table to the side where the wall was.

But this particular morning it didn't go to plan and the cord got hung up and literally in slow motion I watched as the just brewed scalding pot of coffee tipped over toward my lap and......

I caught it with my hand with the pot on its side and the insanely hot pot burning my hand but......

I knew in my mind at the time it was happening that I was going to be able to take the horrible burn and slowly lift the pot back upright and onto the kitchen table but......

As I did so, also still in slow motion, I saw the top of the pot slowly drop open and the entire contents of scalding hot coffee and coffee grounds spill out and onto my lap and legs.

In a flash I was up, dropping the pot on the floor and yanking down my pajama bottoms.  And as I did so my parents (and I) watched in horror as in just a split second the top layers of skin and then the underlying skin peeled off of me in great sheets from my waist to my knees.

My stepfather snatched me up in his arms and ran me to his car and we were off to the ER stat!

Anyways.....the recovery was long and arduous and included a bad infection and lots of agonizing debriding of the scar tissue.  The doctors said I'd never be able to go into the sun again due to the deep scarring, which I would have to live with for life.  But my momz, an avid reader of prevention magazine, said bullshit to that nonsense and fed me mega doses of Vitamin E and would pour liquid vitamin E directly onto my burn site once the burns began to heal.

So I was out of school for 6 weeks and my mom was home and pregnant with my younger brother Ken and the only thing I could do was to be in pain (and later itch like crazy as the burns healed) and watch Tee Vee.  And one of the things mom and I got addicted to of all the daytime Tee Vee, was The Galloping Gourmet with Graham Kerr.

If you're familiar with the show -- you know why we got addicted.  If not....I feel sorry for you.

Anyways......of the entire time I spent recovering from those burns during the six weeks I was out of school, the only thing other than the pain (and the itching) that I really remember was The Galloping Gourmet.

Oh!  And because of that vitamin E treatment my momz gave me I never once developed any scar tissue and go out in the sun in shorts all the time in spite of the massive blistering and deep tissue damage that extended all the way through the dermis to the fat and muscle.

And for those who are wondering (because I know you pervs are wondering) the coffee burned the shit out of my dick and balls.  But in spite of the pain that that caused I am eternally thankful for it because, within weeks after the accident my dick underwent a massive growth spurt.  So thank you for that Messrs. Corning and Folgers.

WHY I WRESTLED IN HIGH SCHOOL

 

THE STORY OF KENNY

Soooooo, earlier on Facebook I mentioned the Marine below -- pictured in a bar in the town of Kin on Okinawa.  His name was Kenny and he was, at the time I snapped the pic, 18 I believe.

He was an anti-tank gunner assigned to my platoon and had just arrived in the Fleet Marine Force from the School of Infantry and been assigned to us just as we got our orders to deploy overseas.  

Camp Schwab on Okinawa was our base of operations but we got sent to Korea twice early on and to Camp Fuji on the mainland once.

It was at Fuji that my unit did its first major tactical training operations and on the very first one -- a night forced march with full pack and weapons all the way around Mount Fuji (about 70 miles in total).

Back then, in the Old Corps, we were issued with these things called shelter halves.  Basically one half of a shitty canvas two man pup tent that you snapped together so that two Marines could sleep out of the weather.  One of the rites of being in the infantry back then was pairing up and choosing your "hooch-mate" for the night.  The guy you were going to sleep with.

Because he was new to the platoon nobody wanted to hooch with Kenny.  And because I was the senior NCO in the unit, nobody really wanted to hooch with me.  So Kenny and I became hooch-mates for the hump.  

The poor kid.

As soon as the platoon (about 30 Marines) got wind of my sleeping arrangement they turned on Kenny like a bunch of barracuda.  Skie, the first squad first fireteam leader, was the very first to chime in:

"Hey, Kenny....did anyone ever tell you the platoon rule? Everyone who hooches with Smitty for the first time has to put out."  Which, of course, the rest of the platoon immediately confirmed by going into great detail about how all of them at one time or another had been forced to put out after hooching with me for the first time.

This was absolutely hysterical since Kenny, being 17 and a boot and as stupid as every boot is, believed every word.  I mean, why else would a bunch of Marines admit to being ritually sodomized and giving forced blowjobs simply because they were sharing a tent with me for the first time unless they were fucking with you?

So, for the next 13 or 14 hours as we marched the 65 or 70 miles around Mount Fuji in the pitch black dark of a moonless night, the Marines in the platoon were merciless with Kenny -- going on about greasing up his ass, and getting his pretty lips limbered up for some serious dick sucking etc., etc.

Fast forward.....we got to the end of our forced march as dawn was breaking and even though totally exhausted, my Marines still had not let up and were teasing Kenny relentlessly as he and I put up our tent.  As we crawled into the tent to try to get 2 or 3 hours of sleep before reveille I said to Kenny, because I couldn't resist, "Well, how about it?"

"What?" he asked with panic creeping into his voice.

"You know the platoon rule.  First time you hooch with me you have to put out."

"Bbbbbb...but I thought you guys were kidding."

"No fucking way.  Look, you can either put out or get out and sleep outside in the rain."  Since we had a nice mountain rainstorm brewing right at that moment.

I went on in a threatening tone, "Look, asshole...I'm gonna count to ten, and if by ten you haven't pulled my dick out and started sucking or shown me your ass, you can get the fuck out."

"ONE, TWO, three, four....fi......."

Aaaaaaaand I fell asleep!

To this day, 42 years later, I have no idea how much time went by after I fell asleep, but the next thing I knew I was being rudely shaken awake.

"What the fuck?!?!?" I barked.

"OK" said Kenny.  "I'll put out."

Now let me just say this about that -- I've been shot at before.  There are few things that get your attention and wake you up faster and more effectively than someone shooting a gun at you.  One of those few things was when Kenny said "OK, I'll put out."  After shaking my ass out of a deep sleep.

Anyways....from that night/morning on Kenny became the duty fuck, and pretty much my property.  If I told him he "had the duty" that night it meant that he needed to stand by for some sexy time.

One time, on a four day liberty in Tokyo, he ran out of money and was unable to buy a train ticket back to Gotemba, near base. He was in danger of going UA (Unauthorized Absence) and like the little hoor that he was he came sideling up to me in the bar we were all drinking at and, nuzzling my neck and putting his tongue in my ear (in front of about twenty Marines!) he said, "If you buy me drinks tonight and pay for my train ticket back to base I'll put out for you as much as you want."

I jumped up and yelled at him, "Motherfucker!  I've been fucking you for months now.  You think buying you a beer and a ticket to base is gonna somehow magic me more ass of yours to fuck than I already have?"

For months we had sex in hotels in Korea and Japan, aboard ship, out in the field, even once when he was on guard duty and I was the Sergeant of the Guard (THAT could have definitely gotten us both thrown in the brig.)  He was really good at being a sex toy and took orders great and I could get him to do pretty much anything!

To his great credit, some months later he hooked up with this smoking hot Navy hospital corpsman from another unit and told him all about me and made the introduction.  In retrospect, I'm pretty sure it was him being sneaky and diverting my attention to a new shiney object so that he could stop being the duty fuck.

Maybe he wasn't so dumb after all. 

Full disclosure:  Although the top pic is Kenny, the rest are not.  They are of a boy named Geoff I knew from Seattle back around 2007 and who looked just like Kenny and who was just as attentive a little hoor as Kenny had been 25 years before and who, as you can see, liked to write my name on himself with lube....among other things.

Here's a few more of Geoff for your enjoyment: